drift fleet | inbox;

[frigidaire]

Hey, this is Isaac. Leave a message, I guess.

Comments

[feathery]

dont say that because that means i cant allergify either of us out of this shithole
unless youve been hiding your sneezes and puffy red eyes
dunno where maybe under your bed
but youd think with all the earth media around there would be more earth food
but no
my whole experience in this fleet has been nothing but disappointment after gross fucking disappointment

[frigidaire]

nope dude i can't get sick
and you're the one that hides stuff under your bed.
its pretty disappointing. i just want normal food again. like a burger as big as my face.
but this new place doesn't seem as crazy at least.

[feathery]

its not hiding its an economical use of space
where else am i gonna keep a pile of shitty sharp metal
but yeah i guess
im not really thrilled about it

[He likes his feelings to stay inside his own head, tyvm.]

[frigidaire]

maybe don't keep sharp metal and dead stuff
but thats just me.
this is better than the moon though
and free stuff. you can get free stuff.

[feathery]

what free stuff

[Interest: Perked.]

[frigidaire]

there's this tree apparently
that like if you hold hands around it
you get free shit.
we should try it. or something.

[ No, he's not drunk, it's real, okay? ]

[feathery]

uh
you sure youre feeling ok man
you didnt pick up another space disease did you
maybe drink some funny water
maybe the fluff slugs have gone to your head

[frigidaire]

no dude i heard people talking about it
you can get free stuff i guess if you just go and stand by it
and hold hands.
maybe the fluff slugs have gone to your head.

[ or your stomach, but he doesn't say that part. ]

[feathery]

right
well that still sounds like a load of bull
so where is this hella magical giving tree
should i bring an axe

[frigidaire]

i mean i dont have a good history with creepy magic trees
and cutting them down never works.
its on the planet though so we should go.
i mean its gonna be weird but dude free stuff.
i really want to get the free stuff.

[feathery]

in case you didnt notice the planet is actually planet sized so the amount of ground to cover in search of a dubious mystery gift tree is kind of fucking huge
and i dont have jades knack for spacey shit so please tell me you at least got more deets than that

[Well, he isn't saying no.]

[frigidaire]

yeah well its in the forest okay
i mean i got a pamphlet on it is that good enough?
the pamphlet has information.
i think.

[feathery]

if we get lost and die forgotten in the middle of an alien forest
im blaming you
and i will haunt the fuck out of your shit in the afterlife until the afterlife is a cold crater in the metaphysical ground

1/2

[frigidaire]

ok blame me i dont care.
thats not really a threat though.
you haunting me is basically what happens now anyway.

[frigidaire]

so we gonna go or what

[feathery]

sure
you on the planet already or what
i got them to stop hugging me but jackasses keep pulling on my feathers

[frigidaire]

yeah they kept touching my hair and hugging me.
it was pretty weird.
but nah im in my room. i took a nap.

[feathery]

oh my god all you do is sleep

[frigidaire]

hey im still catching up after moon hell okay
are you coming.

[ Davesprite's gonna hear him banging on the wall, just to be annoying. ]

free. stuff.
and food. we can get food too.

[feathery]

[Davesprite hears nothing, much in the same way Jon Snow knows nothing. Mostly because—]

dude im already here
well not at the tree since i still have my doubts about its existence but im already on the planet
the limiting factor in this equation is you

[frigidaire]

[ Nothing indeed, but he might hear something, though can the sound of no fucks being given be heard if there is no one around to witness it? who knows. ]

ugh fine i will come find you i guess.
do you still smell like a bird or are you with those slug things.
just find the forest dude, trees are in the forest.
duh.

[feathery]

oh my god
the whole fucking planet is a forest
look
here

[And Davesprite just texts Isaac his location in coordinate form. You're fucking welcome, bro.]

[frigidaire]

i know
i can see the trees too dude.
see you in a few.